I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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