Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
