Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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