WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I have already put on my inside pants.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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