i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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