I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
