didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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