She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
