Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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