Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize