Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
