please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
