she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
