How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize