I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
