Girls should come with a carfax report
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
