Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
