just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize