Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
