I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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