just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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