He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
