garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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