pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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