Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
