i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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