We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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