She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
