that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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