I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
