I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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