I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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