somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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