I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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