just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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