like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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