Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
