me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
