and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
this just has baby written all over it
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
