I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
