we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
