im drinking this country out of the recession.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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