i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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