you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
