totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
