We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
