how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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