i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
