Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
