This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
