Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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