Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
