508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
