I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
