your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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