I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
