Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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