Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
