I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
