Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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