I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize